i am so bad at keeping a blog, even one with my writing like this one. (i write all of the time so i thought that it would be easy to keep it updated, i was wrong)
so i owe all of the people who still bother to read this blog (i love all of you for sticking with me even when i don't post) a HUGE thank you and an update. so here it is (it might be a bit long, a lot has happened)
so my friend, Alex and i started dating about 3 months ago (Alex is a girl, fyi) and i swear i've never felt that way about ANYONE before, i really liked her a lot. i actually told her i liked her in a poem and a few days later she asked me out. so we were dating for almost 3 months (which is a record for me, both of my previous relationships only lasted about 2 months) but we broke up a few days ago. well she broke up with me. it was so painful, i've never had my heart broken before, i've always done the heart breaking (i am NOT a slut) and it really hurt. but don't go thinking that Alex is this terrible person now, she is really awesome and still my best friend. we only broke up because she hated keeping our relationship a secret from my parents, which i totally understand and she said that its more of 'putting the relationship on hold' until i can tell my parents about how i am bi and then we can resume going out because we both care for each other very much. it was the right decision to call it off until i can tell my parents on her part, but sometimes the right decision isn't always the less painful if you know what i mean.
also, i have been working on my abs and am proud to say that i am starting to get some :) YAY! and i'm also trying to lose some weight and flatten my stomach for when i leave for california (2 days!!) because i convinced my family to let me wear a bikini which is really exciting for me cause they never, EVER let me wear that kind of stuff. i'm really excited and i can't wait to go to california. (we are going to san diego, my dad's work has a branch out there and he has to go out for this month to work and so we are going to visit for 2 weeks, i can't wait!! he doesn't get back until the day after my 16th bday which makes me really sad, he's never missed my birthday before, but i guess i just have to live with it, there isn't anything i can do)
i am now going to a counselor to help with the cutting (its been 2 1/2 months!!!) and i like her okay, she's really nice, but i still don't really trust her. those things take time. i've been to see her 3 times and i have another appointment for wednesday before i go to california (that is more times than any of the other counselors, i only went to 1 appointment with each of them and then declared that i didn't want to go back) so its an improvement :)
my parents decided that i can do the school musical this year instead of cross country which makes me really happy because they usually make me do a sport during every season, but they decided that i could try my luck at the musical instead because i love acting more than running, by like a lot.
i sort of got my own laptop (i technically paid for it), but at the moment my dad says its the whole family's even though i'm the one who mostly uses it and set it up with all the programs and everything. i'm just happy that i basically have my own laptop, it will be officially mine when we get another one which will be soon and i can't wait. :)
so that is basically my update (i hope it wasn't too long) i'll try my best to post more after i get back from california. i definitely will let you know how it goes and i might put up pics (of the beach and stuff, no people)
PS- its 1:30 am and i'm still up because i'm waiting for the pottermore clue to come out so i can get in early. wish me luck!!!