So next weekend there is this Quidditch tournament that my team is going to and I'm legit so terrified for it, but I'm trying not to let it show. Inside I'm freaking out because we are going to be playing this really good team and everyone is being so negative and I feel so much pressure to do well at my position, but the guy who I usually partner with might be playing a different position and I just don't even know what to do. Just thinking about it makes my heart pick up and I want to puke and I can't breathe. Ugh. I wish I could be honest with my teammates about it, but I can't. And I just don't feel confident playing my position so that doesn't really help. I feel like I only get playing time because I'm the only girl at my position with any experience at this point. Rawrg. I need more confidence. I also need to not have such bad anxiety. I really want to burn right now. Like, so bad, but we are going to the beach so I can't really do it because I'll be wearing a bikini so I don't have anywhere for it to be hidden that I like to burn. Unless I were to do it just once, but I don't have that kind of self control. Again: rawrg.
My life is so fucked.