beat-up-old guitar

her fingernails were chipped and her fingers were hardened

from hours of struming on her beat-up-old guitar

sitting on street corners with her case wide open

and empty.

 

her clothes rested on bones with skin stretched tight

and her shoulders were slumped

but her eyes were alive with the music she was making,

she couldn't express herself in any other way than

her homemade songs and beat-up-old guitar.

the old abandoned ferris wheel

[inspired by this video - http://youtu.be/Z8tH_i47E-U  by John Green]

 

they were screaming out to be heard,

voices pushing against the old abandoned ferris wheel

screaming, but only sounding in the soft wind

that moved them from silence into sound, pressing them

against the old metal carriages that once held

their laughing children.

 

they were screaming for redemption, for revenge

on the old rotting wooden steps

and the man who left it all behind,

confined to a prison cell,

letting their children's joy rot away

with the old wooden platforms.

 

the only way they could make it run

was by screaming into the wind

and hoping that it would push them with

enough force to make the old abandoned

ferris wheel

move again.

the words are singing

these words are singing through my mind

like your voice used to create beautiful melodies

out of almost nothing,

guitar in hand you were

invincible.

 

so now that you are off in the world

discovering yourself,

i just let my mind sing for you to fill up

that empty space where your music used to be

and i write lyrics for you, for songs that only i

will ever hear.

 

now i've got my own guitar in hand, i've got

words in my head that are singing and

i've got the voice to sing them

so the songs that i've written that you will never hear

can be heard by the ones who have words singing

in their heads too.

salty sea green eyes

her eyelashes were sprinkled with dew-drop tears

that sparkled in the morning sun like diamonds

as her evergreen eyes gazed up into a far away place

where her dreams and long ago aspirations hid themselves

from her shattered heart and empty sea eyes.

 

once she was as full as the ocean and her eyes sparkled

in the middle of the night like stars

and her face was the moon,

but then the valve on her heart broke and she accidentally poured out

all of her salty sea green love

onto an empty beach and the stars in her eyes died,

her beautiful moon face no longer saw the beautiful light

in quiet darkness.

 

_______________________________________________

 

WHOOT!! somehow I found the time to write something while being loaded down with homework and a job! :) 

 

I'm kinda worried about how I will be able to do everything during the winter when I have nordic skiing, but I'll deal with that when it comes. 

 

also, I've lost 4 more pounds! 14 total since I started trying to lose weight! 

soldier's wife

she could feel the leaf brush against her face and she thought of

his breathe whispering against her ear;

telling her all of his secrets and his lies and the

truths that he had hidden for so long, but relenquished to her

ever-waiting ears with her head on his shoulder and his arms around her

and their bodies pressed together, fitting together like

two puzzle pieces that were a perfect match.

 

but now the only thing that her body was pressed against

was the cold tree, bark digging into her back through her light jacket

that let the wind cut right through to her bones making her shiver, making her

feel cold all the way through her body

like her bones had been frozen once again, brought back to the

brittle fragileness that they had been before him, before he

came along and began to thaw her out,

make her warm again.

 

her eyes were hard, the sparkle they had when she

was held in his arms next to the tree that was now the only thing

keeping her standing

was gone

and she refused to shed a tear, refused to look down at the letter

crumpled in her hand that told her that the man she loved, the only person

in the world who had been her perfect match,

was gone.

forever.

killed in battle, fighting bravely for his country and

her,

killed far away from home, far away from her arms

and now she was alone next to the tree that once was

their place;

where they had their first kiss, where he proposed, where she told him she was

pregnant with his child just two days before he was deployed, where they said

goodbye and he promised to come home soon to her and their child.

 

but now he wasn't ever coming home, he would never meet his

newborn son and she would never feel his arms around her again.

 

so she leaned against the tree that had their initials carved on a

low-hanging branch, encased in a heart that was supposed to mean

that their love would last

forever,

and she looked up at the cloudy sky and promised him

that she would tell their son about his brave daddy who was

an amazing man and loved them both more than anything, loved them

so much that he was willing to give his life to ensure their safety and freedom.

 

because she would never forget him and she would always love him, always

be waiting for the day when they would be reunited again

in heaven.

the magical place with a piece of my heart

i miss the palm trees and the sound of ocean waves late at night
when the stars were shining in the cloudless sky
and i miss the balcony that i would slip out onto in the middle of the night
so that i could see the stars and the ocean waves and the moonlight
because everything felt so much more real there, felt so much more
alive than back in my home nestled between the mountains.

i fell in love with the ocean breeze and the sun and the moonlight,
but most of all;
i fell in love with the palm trees and the warmth that seeped into my
cold, pale skin and how the sun made me a little less pale and made my hair
a little less red, lightened by the small blonde streaks that showed themselves
after whole days laying out on the beach with the people that i never seem to get
enough time to bond with, the people who are part of my life forever and in those
days on the beach i felt like we were finally all together,
falling in love with everything around us;
as a family.

it was in that place that i first fell in love with something other than
the willow tree behind my house or the way the sun sets behind the mountains, it was
the place where my heart felt full and happy and content, the place where
i left a little of me behind so that some day i would go back to the
palm trees and the ocean breeze and the moonlight and the sunshine
so when i got home i made a promise to myself that i would go back, i would travel
all the way across the US to the magical place that holds a piece of my heart,
and i would bring my family with me.

note: this is about a family trip i took last summer to san diego, california [we were technically just outside of san diego in carlsbad] and i immediately fell in love with it. sometimes i feel a little weird loving a place so much, but i do and i want more than anything to go back with my family sometime. i'm actually planning on going somewhere in southern california for college.

deaf songbird sing

she only sings when nobody else can hear her,
like the lone tree that falls in a forest with no one
around to notice the sound,
and sometimes she wonders if she is really making
something worthwhile emerge from her lips, something
that maybe someone will call beautiful.

her whole world is a sound-proof box
that keeps the sound out and silence in as she
motions with her hands to speak and watches with
her eyes to listen, but sometimes she will
open her mouth like a songbird and sing without
knowing what her song sounds like, without knowing
if it is beautiful.

sound has never been heard by her ears
and sometimes she wonders if it exists, wonders
if the words she thinks she is humming
are even leaving her lips because she is too afraid
of disappointment to ask with her hands
if she can make a beautiful sound with her lips.