love drunk

i'm so lovesick i'm wasted,

with a pounding headache and an uneasy stomach

and i think that i might have just drank a little too much

last night when i was with you, you are my

alcohol.

[and i know that isn't really a compliment, but i can't help it

because that is what you are and always will be you see, you and me

are something that doesn't fit together like teenagers

and alcohol, you make me sick like beer on a friday night at a frat party

without even trying and i think that i just might be addicted.]

 

and i'm hungover from all of the love

that i was drinking last night when i was with you and you

didn't even look at me once, didn't even bother to say a simple "hello"

and i went home and cried myself to sleep because it hurt so much,

my eyes were bloodshot and empty and when i woke up i thought that maybe

you really are my alcohol because, damn, i looked

drunk.

[i acted drunk too, my speach was slurred and my legs unsteady

and everyone thought that maybe i did drink, maybe the good little christian girl

actually did go to a party and get drunk,

i wouldn't tell them that they were wrong.]

 

its funny because when i got home that night, smelling like beer

and pot smoke my mother didn't even notice and i think it might have been

because i didn't smell like beer or pot smoke,

i smelt like you,

my drink of choice and i spent another night with a headache and a stomach

that decided it didn't want anything in it anymore

while my mother joined my father in front of the tv and they cuddled,

nestled their bodies together and i knew that one time

she got drunk off him too and i wonder if he knows and i think he just might

because, damn, their marriage is like a wall of unbreakable diamond.

[i'm afraid that i am always going to be stuck in a life where i go out

to friday night frat parties and get drunk on you,

feel so lovesick that i'm wasted and make everyone think that maybe, just maybe

i am actually drunk.]

 

and its funny how i think about us in metaphors because

they are unreal and we are unreal and this world keeps telling me

to go get drunk, but i don't know how much real alcohol my body can handle

if it can barely handle

you.