Wednesday, December 29, 2010

There and Back Again

wow it seems like forever since i last posted something even remotely writing like so here is a piece that i think you might enjoy :)


It seems like it has been forever since my fingers
flew across the keyboard letters,
bringing a true master piece into existance.
It's been so very long since I let my thoughts play out
onto a new page and then share it to the world,
it has been so long.
I have written so many words in the month of December
and it seems as though I may never write again,
but you can never,
lose something that is such a great part of you
that it is what gets you through boring days and tough times.
It has been so long since I embraced the words,
struggling to get out,
burning to get out,
as I have once said in a poem that I wrote
what seems like ages ago.
In only a month I am different now,
a writer who has accomplished NaNoWriMo her first time
and a bisexual teen who has come out to her friends.
In only a month I have changed from a shy girl
who hid my feelings for fear that I would be trampled
and broken all over again,
to a girl who isn't afraid to be herself
and will gladly say what's on her mind.
I can change so much in such a short time,
but it seems as though it is not appropriately measured
because I measure my progress
through the change in the flow and the words
of my writing.
It has been so long since I poured my heart onto a page
for a total stranger to read,
but there is a comfort in it.
so there is a writing piece (finally)! :) 

how were your Christmases this year? mine was pretty great because it was also marking 3 weeks since i last cut myself :) i got some cool stuff and i got to see myself in published form!!

it was pretty exciting and right now i am reading it (it is my nano novel from this year) it isn't sold to the public, its just a proof copy and i have the only copy that will ever be made and sold sorry! maybe next year i will open it up to the general public. i also got this really cool caligraphy set from my almost boyfriend (if he doesn't ask me out in the next month i am going to go out with Lindsay - yes a girl, i am bisexual)

much love all!

Monday, December 13, 2010


so this is going to be qucik, sorry i don't have nay writing, but i am still recovering from NaNoWriMo (which i did complete) so i am low on creativity at this moment. 
so i wanted to quickly post a question, i don't ask questions usually, but i really wanted to know...

have you ever had a dream that was almost a nightmare, it was just really disgusting and in the dream what was happening was totally normal, but when you woke up you were suddenly disgusted by it and no matter how hard you tried you couldn't get the images from your dream out of your head ALL day long?

cause i had a really disgusting dream last night and when i woke up i just remembered the dream and i haven't been able to get the image out of my head ALL day, no matter how hard i tried and now that i'm getting ready for bed, i am TERRIFIED of going to sleep and i am afraid to tell my mom because
1- i don't want to talk about it or think about it, i want it out of my head, NOW!
2- i'm afraid that she might think i am seriously messed up in the mind because the image was something that i DEFINITELY have never seen in my ENTIRE life before, therefore i thought it into existance
3- i am afraid that i actually am going insane

oh god, your advice would be SO VERY helpful!!!!
please tell me this is normal and i am NOT going insane, please?!