Friday, July 27, 2012

soldier's wife

she could feel the leaf brush against her face and she thought of
his breathe whispering against her ear;
telling her all of his secrets and his lies and the
truths that he had hidden for so long, but relenquished to her
ever-waiting ears with her head on his shoulder and his arms around her
and their bodies pressed together, fitting together like
two puzzle pieces that were a perfect match.
but now the only thing that her body was pressed against
was the cold tree, bark digging into her back through her light jacket
that let the wind cut right through to her bones making her shiver, making her
feel cold all the way through her body
like her bones had been frozen once again, brought back to the
brittle fragileness that they had been before him, before he
came along and began to thaw her out,
make her warm again.
her eyes were hard, the sparkle they had when she
was held in his arms next to the tree that was now the only thing
keeping her standing
was gone
and she refused to shed a tear, refused to look down at the letter
crumpled in her hand that told her that the man she loved, the only person
in the world who had been her perfect match,
was gone.
killed in battle, fighting bravely for his country and
killed far away from home, far away from her arms
and now she was alone next to the tree that once was
their place;
where they had their first kiss, where he proposed, where she told him she was
pregnant with his child just two days before he was deployed, where they said
goodbye and he promised to come home soon to her and their child.
but now he wasn't ever coming home, he would never meet his
newborn son and she would never feel his arms around her again.
so she leaned against the tree that had their initials carved on a
low-hanging branch, encased in a heart that was supposed to mean
that their love would last
and she looked up at the cloudy sky and promised him
that she would tell their son about his brave daddy who was
an amazing man and loved them both more than anything, loved them
so much that he was willing to give his life to ensure their safety and freedom.
because she would never forget him and she would always love him, always
be waiting for the day when they would be reunited again
in heaven.

Friday, July 13, 2012

the magical place with a piece of my heart

i miss the palm trees and the sound of ocean waves late at night
when the stars were shining in the cloudless sky
and i miss the balcony that i would slip out onto in the middle of the night
so that i could see the stars and the ocean waves and the moonlight
because everything felt so much more real there, felt so much more
alive than back in my home nestled between the mountains.

i fell in love with the ocean breeze and the sun and the moonlight,
but most of all;
i fell in love with the palm trees and the warmth that seeped into my
cold, pale skin and how the sun made me a little less pale and made my hair
a little less red, lightened by the small blonde streaks that showed themselves
after whole days laying out on the beach with the people that i never seem to get
enough time to bond with, the people who are part of my life forever and in those
days on the beach i felt like we were finally all together,
falling in love with everything around us;
as a family.

it was in that place that i first fell in love with something other than
the willow tree behind my house or the way the sun sets behind the mountains, it was
the place where my heart felt full and happy and content, the place where
i left a little of me behind so that some day i would go back to the
palm trees and the ocean breeze and the moonlight and the sunshine
so when i got home i made a promise to myself that i would go back, i would travel
all the way across the US to the magical place that holds a piece of my heart,
and i would bring my family with me.

note: this is about a family trip i took last summer to san diego, california [we were technically just outside of san diego in carlsbad] and i immediately fell in love with it. sometimes i feel a little weird loving a place so much, but i do and i want more than anything to go back with my family sometime. i'm actually planning on going somewhere in southern california for college.