Sunday, February 12, 2012

to the girl who sits behind me in history class [but mostly the girl who sits next to her]

to the girl who sits behind me in history [but mostly the girl who sits next to her] -

i'm that girl who sits in front of you, the one who just nods when you talk about your weekends and your boyfriends and the guys that you want to sleep with.
i'm that girl who always turns to look at you when you say something insanely stupid, something that makes me think about how much you haven't learned about life.

because, girls?
you don't know anything about pain and loss and love and,
most of all;

yes, i'm referencing what you said today in class, you with the short red hair that frames your pale face with soft, beautiful ringlets. you who supposedly knows everything about everything, the one who is all knowing, intelligent, experienced, the pot smoking girl who is madly in love with a guy who only wants you for sex.
yes. i'm talking to you.

you, the girl with the grandmother who has cancer who has opted out of chemo because she knows she is going to die anyway. what is she? 70 or 80?
she has lived her life, she has had all of the experiences that she will ever have anyway and now she is old enough to just pass on,
but that doesn't mean that a cure for cancer shouldn't be searched for.

do you remember?
remember what you said to me today?
"they should stop looking for a cure for cancer,
everyone is just going to die anyway."

i ask you this;
what about that 3 year old little boy with leukemia who hasn't yet had a chance to live?
are you saying that he should not be given the chance to live a full life, a happy life, one where he bugs his older sisters and drives his parents nuts, plays football and baseball and lacrosse in the backyard with friends, writes essays and complains about math tests?

and what about that 39 year old woman who is the 3rd person in the United States to get the type of cancer she has, she knows she is going to die, but she lets them experiment on her for 5 long years so someone else might be able to live?
are you saying that all of that research should just be thrown away?
what would you tell her family who watched her suffer so someone else would live?
[and just so you know, that's my aunt i'm talking about.
she died last April, a month before she turned 40.]

i don't know if you realize this, but your comment made me cry during lunch today.
i don't cry. i hate to cry. but your insensitive comment brought me to tears.
your grandmother has had a full life,
do you think that a cure still shouldn't be found so that someone younger could live and have the full life that your grandmother has had?

there are many things that i've noticed about you this year,
but the one that stands out the most is how little you know about pain and loss.

maybe you should think a little bit more before you open your mouth.

that girl who sits in front of you in history class.
this is a true story. a girl really did say this to me during history the other day. it really pissed me off and i did cry at lunch.
it was a really stupid and insensitive thing to say, but i guess that there are always going to be idiots in this world.