Saturday, May 12, 2012

so a little bit about my life...

it's been awhile since i just posted a blog about my life and what has been going on and such. for a brief period of time i tried to blog everyday about day to day stuff on a different blog i created, but i just had a hard time keeping up with it and ended up deleting it after about a week. i've always had a hard time keeping up a blog, i have several blogs that i have deleted or just kinda left floating around in cyberspace. i've been dedicated to this one the longest, but i still don't really post that often. i guess it's mostly because this is a blog that is generally my writing so i don't feel the pressure to post everyday or at least a few times a week. it's more based on when i get inspiration and actually write something that is worth sharing to other people via the internet.

i've decided though that i want to try blogging every now and then on this blog too, just because a lot goes on in my life and i don't really convey my daily activities through my writing. plus, recently i've been experiencing a sort of writer's block so i haven't had anything to write really and i don't want to totally abandon this blog until i find the inspiration to write something.

so, my life.
- prom is next weekend and i decided that i didn't want to go because the whole school dance thing just isn't my scene and i really do hate dressing up and wearing make up and all of that stuff. [i'm not a tom-boy or anything, i'm actually pretty girly, i just don't really like feeling like i have to wear make up to make myself look beautiful or desirable. people should like me for my heart, not my looks, you know?] my friends really want me to join them in the pre-prom dinner and dressing up, but i made the executive decision that i am going to stay home and sleep until midnight when i will arrive to crash the after prom party. [it's not really crashing because i will buy an after prom ticket for like $5 so technically i will be allowed there and i'm not the type to ruin it all with drugs or alcohol or anything - i don't really stand for that kind of stuff, sure i hang with stoners sometimes, but i've never actually joined them in their after school activities.]- the week after prom i'm going to new jersey to see one direction live with my friend sarah and i am super excited. i was really surprised that my parents let me go AND paid for my ticket, but i'm not complaining.
- i haven't cut myself for around 3 months now and am feeling really great. my therapist moved to a different state so i had to start going to a different person, but she is really nice and i generally like her [i just don't know if i really want to see her anymore, i don't really think i need a therapist/counselor anymore].
- in the summer i'm going to this christian camp for a week and i'm really excited. [yes, i am a christian, i accepted Jesus in december 2011, a little over a year ago. God has been a large part of my recovery process and has given me strength to resist the urges.] i just am really nervous about them seeing my scars, but they are part of my testimony and i know that i'm going to face the fact that they are there and aren't going away anytime soon. i can't hide them forever.

that is pretty much it for now, but i plan on making some posts that are a little more personal and talk about stuff that is going on in my life and such.

i hate neglecting this blog for too long...