Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Harder and Harder We Try

Laughing faces surround me and press down on me,
suffocating me and working at what they do best
destroying innocence

Some days I wish for that young, childhood innocence
that left me all too soon,
fled from razors blades and hunger pains,
half hearted attempts
at beauty.
It's never coming back,
what's lost,
is indeed lost,
it's not coming back and I,
can never get it back
no matter how hard we fight to right these wrongs
that we created ourselves.

Rooms of people trying to get the help they need,
but these razor blades won't go away
and the innocence is lost forever.
Talk all you will,
dream for a better tomorrow,
it will never come.
Grace yourselves into my presence,
cry out for the help that only I can give,
the hope that lurks at the edge of every dark cloud.

Give up those razor blades and hunger pains,
let me comfort your broken form.
Because I can restore your innocence,
I can take all of this endless pain
away from these broken forms
made this way because of this cruel world
that doesn't dare to admit that relief
is all it thirsts for,
relief and peace.

Fight me everyday because you are too afraid
to leave this earth forever and
to take with you the memories of a better life
and the hope that lurked at the edge
of every dark cloud.
you can get better

So drop those razor blades
and eat that whole entire plate sitting in front of you,
taunting you,
you can give up this stubbornness
and let your friends help you out of this
deep hole that you have dug yourself,
causing innocence to flee
and knowledge that one so young
shouldn't have came running.

Let me comfort you,
let me restore a bit of innocence,
let me give you hope.
Keep on fighting for the ones you love
who love you back,
I did.
i am just like you

So just keep trying,
we are too...

i wrote this poem today after i went to group therapy (i'm a cutter and have food issues) and it's mainly for everyone out there who has to battle through the same feelings of depression and  insecurity, encouraging them that there is someone out there who really does care :)
since last post i didn't really introduce myself i figured i'd give a little blurb about myself right now and you can always read my "about me" thingy in the side column ....

so i'm a writer (duh) and i carry around this red notebook that i jot down ideas and even sometimes complete poems when they come to me (it used to be blue, but that one fell apart) i'm always writing or thinking about writing (even in school, cause who pays attention in class anyway?) and today i learned that 2 1/2 hours of writing burns 217.5 calories which makes me pretty excited cause now my parents can't pull the "writing doesn't do anything for you and it doesn't involve exercise" well guess what guys??? IT BURNS CALORIES!!!! so there, fight that mom and dad!!! (i'm such a rebel) haha lol okay so that's me..... enjoy my blog!!!!!!!!!

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