Tuesday, June 8, 2010

A Reflection In Her

Sometimes there is a moment when I am looking into my younger sister's chocolate brown eyes, the parallel to my own icy blue, and I see a reflection of a younger me,
a younger child who is just learning how easy it is to take only 26 letters and form them into words and sentences, bending them to my will because I am a writer. (she is a writer)

Sometimes I look at her perfectly straight brown hair, totally different from my slightly curled red and wonder if we are really related and then she will do something that will crush the doubt from my mind. Like when she told me one day that she was confused because when everybody else in her kindergarten class couldn't read or write, but she was already writing poems and everybody made fun of her. I held her for the first time since she was a baby that day and as she cried into my shoulder I smiled. (it happened to me too)

When I look at pictures of her as a younger child if I really try and ignore the hair and eyes I can see that she isn't just some kid off the streets, she's my sister. Yesterday she came home and fought with my dad and for the first time I saw him raise his hand to hit her and I jumped in front of him and for a brief moment I saw knowledge that some old men and women could never comprehend flash there and her smile wavered. When I looked back at pictures of me around that age I realized that I too had lost my smile around them. (I don't want her to lose hers)

At night when I kiss her softly on the forehead because our parents are to drunk to care I can feel something radiating off of her skin, something that feels like happiness and innocence, slowly slipping away. (she is so much like me)

So I wonder if she will ever find relief in a knife or starve herself to be beautiful and then I silently plead to a god I don't believe in to save her and not let anything ever happen to her. (I wish she could stay this innocent forever)

For someone who looks nothing like me, on the inside we are so much alike that it makes me realize that we are sisters, no matter how different we look because on the inside we are the same....
(I just hope she doesn't have to go through what I have)

Oh dear God,
I pray tonight
that you protect my sister
and don't let this cruel world get her
because she deserves to be happy
and innocent. 

i wrote this about my younger sister who i am always mad at in one way or another, but one day i looked at her and i saw a younger me and so i wrote this because it was just so surreal....

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