there are so many things i haven't done, so many
things that i haven't said, so many
secrets that i haven't shouted from mountains
like a love-sick fool.
i used to want to travel the world, i
wanted to see lovers kissing in France and a shy boy playing
his ukulele in England and girls dancing in Italy and, most of all,
i wanted to see you.
i wanted to tell you that i loved you, i wanted
to kiss you under the stars and smoke on an abandoned
street corner next to that shy boy playing his ukulele, i wanted
to hold you in my arms and be held in yours, i wanted
to make you smile through your tears, but now
i can't because i am slowly slipping away and you are too blind to
see, too caught up in your own world to see that mine is falling
there were so many things i wanted to do, so many things
i wanted to say, but now time is running out and i don't have enough left
to let you know everything that goes through my mind when i see you
and i know that you have her, i just hope that she can keep you sane
when i'm gone, i hope that
she can hold you and make you smile through your tears, i hope
she will kiss you in France, she will smoke on street corners in England, she will
make you smile through your tears.
i hope that she can make everything okay when i'm gone,
because you don't know this; but i'm dying darling
and i will never be able to get better, there is this monster
inside of me that is slowly, quickly, tearing me apart
and i can't fight it much longer so i'm using the last of my strength
to write you this poem and i hope that you can read
this illegible handwriting because my hand is shaking
and i'm tired and i'm dying.
so when i'm gone, please go to France and kiss someone under the stars
and smoke with that same someone on street corners in England by that
shy boy with his ukulele and learn how to smile through your tears, please
live the life that i never had because i know you want to travel
the world, like i once did, and please don't stay behind for me.
leave me some yellow roses,
on my gravestone and then go and travel the world and bring me back