there are so many lasts;
and i don't think i really noticed until you and i had our lasts;
in the last moments of the last time that i saw you until you took your
last breath and your heart beat one last time and you died with your last smile
still shining on your face.
you see, i miss you more everyday and i thought that it might
not hurt so much a year later, but it does
and i can't help but cry at night as i hold the last gift you gave me;
a bright yellow stuffed animal duck named ducky because i thought that
your pool cleaner was a duck when really it was a turtle
and that was the last time we laughed together.
when we had our last laugh together and our last words
i didn't know they were going to be our last
and when i said goodbye to you that night i meant it as
"goodbye i'll see you next summer when i turn 16"
"goodbye forever i'll see you in heaven"
and when you said goodbye to me it was the same, but i think
that you might have known that our hugs and kisses would be
our last and that those words would be the last we spoke together
and that stuffed animal duck named ducky would be the last gift you gave me.
its a little over a year later and i keep thinking about our lasts
and think about how everyone has their lasts and wonder
what my lasts are going to be.