Sunday, June 10, 2012

love drunk

i'm so lovesick i'm wasted,
with a pounding headache and an uneasy stomach
and i think that i might have just drank a little too much
last night when i was with you, you are my
[and i know that isn't really a compliment, but i can't help it
because that is what you are and always will be you see, you and me
are something that doesn't fit together like teenagers
and alcohol, you make me sick like beer on a friday night at a frat party
without even trying and i think that i just might be addicted.]
and i'm hungover from all of the love
that i was drinking last night when i was with you and you
didn't even look at me once, didn't even bother to say a simple "hello"
and i went home and cried myself to sleep because it hurt so much,
my eyes were bloodshot and empty and when i woke up i thought that maybe
you really are my alcohol because, damn, i looked
[i acted drunk too, my speach was slurred and my legs unsteady
and everyone thought that maybe i did drink, maybe the good little christian girl
actually did go to a party and get drunk,
i wouldn't tell them that they were wrong.]
its funny because when i got home that night, smelling like beer
and pot smoke my mother didn't even notice and i think it might have been
because i didn't smell like beer or pot smoke,
i smelt like you,
my drink of choice and i spent another night with a headache and a stomach
that decided it didn't want anything in it anymore
while my mother joined my father in front of the tv and they cuddled,
nestled their bodies together and i knew that one time
she got drunk off him too and i wonder if he knows and i think he just might
because, damn, their marriage is like a wall of unbreakable diamond.
[i'm afraid that i am always going to be stuck in a life where i go out
to friday night frat parties and get drunk on you,
feel so lovesick that i'm wasted and make everyone think that maybe, just maybe
i am actually drunk.]
and its funny how i think about us in metaphors because
they are unreal and we are unreal and this world keeps telling me
to go get drunk, but i don't know how much real alcohol my body can handle
if it can barely handle

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