Sunday, June 10, 2012

leaving this town

hurry up my dear, i'm packing my bags and leaving this
god forsaken town
filled with a past i don't want to remember and people i want
more than anything to forget.
you see, i can't stay here anymore, i can't
live in this place where i made so many mistakes
and had to pay for them all, i want to get away from 
all of the secrets and the stories and the lies
that have created a person i don't want to be, a person
i hate to be.
i'm packing my bags and ditching this town, i'm leaving
you behind with everyone else
and don't be offended when you never hear from me again
because you are part of a past that i'm eager to forget.
i want to be someone else, someone i'm proud of being
and i don't want the lies and secrets anymore, i can't stand the
pretending like everything will be fine if i just stay a little longe,
it won't, i know that and you know that, but you can't
seemt to admit it.
everyone here knows the me i hate and hates the me i love;
the me that is head over heels in love with a boy and doesn't like girls,
the me that is actually pretty goddamn smart and wants to sing her own songs.
i'm sorry i've lied to you for so long, but i don't like girls like that
[i never have, even a little bit]
and i'm sorry i led you on and made you think that maybe we had a chance
because we don't, i'm in love with the man of my dreams but he doesn't know
i exist and that is okay, when i leave this town i'm leaving him too.
so this is goodbye, i'm packing my bags and cutting my hair,
i'm going blonde because red is too noticable and i don't want to be noticed
or found when i slip away to another place
where i am nothing more than just a name and a face, nothing more.
i don't want to be known as me anymore,
i want to recreate myself.

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